4: The Glass Castle 180-230

"When Dad asked me for another five bucks a few days later, I gave it to him. It made me feel sick thinking I was now ten dollars off budget. In a few more days, he asked for twenty.
'Twenty dollars?' I couldn't believe Dad was pushing me this far. 'Why twenty?'
'Goddammit, since when do I have to explain myself to my children?' Dad asked. In the next breath, he told me that he had borrowed a friend's car and needed to buy gas so he could drive to Gary for a business meeting. 'I need money to make money. I'll pay you back.' He looked at me, defying me to disbelieve him.
'I've got bills piling up,' I said. I heard my voice growing shrill, but I couldn't control it. 'I've got kids to feed.'
'Don't you worry about food and bills,' Dad said. 'That's for me to worry about. Okay?'
I had put my hand in my pocket, I didn't know if I was reaching for my money or trying to protect it.
'Have I ever let you down?' Dad asked.
I'd heard that question at least two hundred times, and I'd always answered it the way I knew he wanted me to, because I thought it was my faith in Dad that had kept him going all those years. I was about to tell him the truth for the first time, about to let him know that he'd let us all down plenty, but then I stopped. I couldn't do it. Dad, meanwhile was saying he was not asking me for the money; he was telling me to give it to him. He needed it. Did I think he was a liar when he said he'd get it back to me?
I gave him the twenty dollars." (Walls 210)

This excerpt is the climax of the novel. Jeanette realizes that her parents are not doing what is in the best interest of their children, but are doing things that they enjoy doing, not matter the price that Jeanette and the rest of her siblings have to pay. "I couldn't do it. Dad, meanwhile was saying he was not asking me for the money; he was telling me to give it to him. He needed it," (Walls 210). In this particular excerpt, Jeanette has taken on the duties and responcibilities of her parents. She is the one keeping the money and feeding the kids. Her parents have become absent and seem like they do not care about the well being of the family and only want to satisfy their own desires. I think that Jeanette's parents do actually care and love their children, but realize that they have already failed them so there is nothing much more to be done. Her parents have given up hope, and think that the only way that their children can get out of the untolerable lives that their parents have provided, is with their own desire and responcible habits. I think that the author is trying to say that life is what you, and you yourself makes it.
Jeanette does not want to fail her parents by not believing in them. She feels it is her responcibility to keep the family somewhat stable. Jeanette, despite all that has happened, still loves her dad. This theme is present throughout the book, the unconditional love that a child has for their parents. She doesn't ever want to let her parents down even if they have let her down so many times. "I didn't know if I was reaching for my money or trying to protect it," (Walls 210). She submits to giving her parents the money because she respects her Dad and can never say no to him because he is her dad and still admires his genious outlook on life. I think that she also is afraid of what he might do if he gets angry. Her dad has a reputation of drinking when he gets upset, and Jeanette doesn't want to set that side of him off. I think that Jeanette wants to be almost like her Dad, without the drinking problems he has because he is such an admirable person when you look deep down past the insecurities that everyone has.